Dog eat dog...

As the title suggest, you either kill or be killed. the weak must learn how to avoid, to lay low, engage in guriellia warfare in order to survive. no matter who so ever, so long as he is given power, he will use it to the fullest at times even abusing it. its the same in school, at work and especially in the army. its by a mere stripe or bar that determines your life in the army. Shit flows downwards, and the ones below are the "man", people like me.

just coz some f***kers don feel like doing something, i have to cover. i have to sacrifice my leaves and weekends to fill in for those bastards. over time, i've learnt the ugly ways of people. u will never get recognised for doing more than u are suppose to do but u will get f***ked for doing less. indeed the army has mould me into a person able to withstand the hard knocks, to dodge arrows and when the opportunity comes strike back. i dare say that i've metamorph into what i swore i'd never become.

i just found out that i have an annual medic proficency test coming up in 2 weeks time. bloody last minute info again. how to study in this short amount of time. fortunately my dispensing skills are pretty kilat after spending so much time in the dispensary. all the names of the medicine and their effects i can remember liao. gotta revise and both theory and practical also. but how hard can a test in army be right? (cross fingers)

another thing, i don't know whether if its good or bad, well i guess its a double edge sword. i am going for spec 2 course next jan. i'll be getting more money after i pass out, but with 3 stripes comes additionally responsibility, i'm afraid i might get push to be the new company as their coy medic. thats super shitty. sianz gotta book in liao.

DTA - don't trust anyone

Mummy...

The past few weeks have been a turmoil for a very close friend of mine. I remember writing on family, on my mom, on life without her. I could never imagine my life without my mother, but there is no need to for my friend, there is no need to think how life would be like without his mom, how much he would miss her if she was gone. Yes, Benjy just lost his mom. She passed away becaused of cancer.

I'm glad I was able to provide a source of comfort through out his ordeal, from beginning to end. It may not seem very similar but I too just lost my grandma, in some ways, I can understand his feelings and am able to comprehand his situation. The pain is indeed unbearable, as you come back to an empty house everyday and yet seeing memories of your mom everywhere in the house. "hey thats my mom favourite chair", "mummy whats for dinner?" seeing photos of your mom just unearthed all the suppressed emotions. its not unusual for me to be chatting with him happily one minute and the next he would be sobbing.

I've learnt much and because of this it has further strengthen my love for my family. time is short, lets not waste time getting angry with our moms for nagging, believe me you wouldn't want it to be gone. we do not even have time to properly love our family so lets not use the little time that we have to quarrel with them.

have u hug your mom today? Have you thank her for making your meals? Have you spend time with her? Have you told her you love her?